


A ray of sunshine

by Gabriel_Sammys_Angel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Broken Gabriel, Caring Sam, Could add more chapters, Gabriel - Freeform, Hinted Sabriel, M/M, Mentioned Abuse, SPN - Freeform, Sad Gabriel, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, Torture, happy end, mentioned rape, not finished ?, sweatheart sam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-20 16:58:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14898431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriel_Sammys_Angel/pseuds/Gabriel_Sammys_Angel
Summary: Gabriel has escaped all the abuse and torture.. but was he really fine now?Could the angel cope or did he need help to do so?Was there someone to help him at all...?Maybe Sam Winchester would be there for the archangel.Triggerwarning: mentioned rape, abuse and hurtread at your own risk!





	1. The first rays after a long time

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> This is the first work I have created after a very long writing pause (5 1/2 years to be exact) and I really struggled with posting this but after a week of consideration I decided to finally publish this.  
> Please leave me a comment or kudo or anything because when this sparks the interest of some others I might make this into a series and write more for this!

It had been some time since he had seen the bright light of the sun, even the smallest ray of sun hurt his eyes as they had grown so very sensitive to any source of light. But he could not deny that it was not beautiful, especially a world coated in sunlight. It made the grass look greener, the flowers even prettier than they already were. The trees looked taller and the sky seemed so much bluer, no clouds spoiled the sight and it was colored in a perfectly and consistent blue. The whole world seemed to be full of joy, he could hear dogs bark and children play, and so much warmer than what he used to feel. Sure the heat was almost unbearable and it hit him just now, is brain not able to process too many impressions at once. But he did not think of the heat as a negative thing, it really proved to him that he escaped and that he got out, that he survived and was allowed to see the world again. The warmth filled him up, consumed him and made him feel all warm and fuzzy and … happy inside- Happiness was something he had not been able to, nor allowed to feel in such a long time now and it finally surged through him, filled his every fiber and made him close those whiskey colored eyes, head titled upwards at the sun. 

The only light he had seen for a long time – he had lost track of said time although it felt much longer it had hardly been a few years - had been the dim light that came into the cell when the door was opened. This had not happened all too often though and when it had. It always hold one of the darkest promises alive. A promise dark enough for every one to fear, so dark most creatures feared it still even after it had faltered and left them alone. Even when they lay in bed years later and thought of nothing that had to do with it, had enjoyed a good day full of love and harmony- no even then it could come back and make every creature alive start to shake in fear of the memory that came with it. A memory of a dark place, not only because most are captured during it, no but also a dark place in somebody's mind.  
Torture.  
The promise of torture was to haunt everyone forever who had endured it, who had escaped it, who had died from it, even those who just were forced to watch- even those feared it. Because torture could have many faces, all cruel on another level but meant to destroy the person who was extradited to it, at someone else´s mercy. And often enough broken and destroyed in every possible way, forever. All those who had endured it would never see the purpose of a solely cruel torture unless they were broken and twisted so badly, they started to enjoy it, unless then, they would still fear the slightest memory of it. Some might be triggered by a noise, some by a certain word, some by a certain smell and the list goes on. The one who exerts the torture always knows what those at his mercy fear and uses it against them.

And for him, every time the door had opened with a loud, creaking sound, he knew what was to come next. At first it had not been predictable at all. Therefor more dangerous and more mentally exhausting- meant to break him after all. But after a few months he knew how the brain of his torturer worked, what they wanted from him and how they ought to receive sought information. His tongue was his strongest weapon and he knew, if he was able to break him, he would eventually speak. Sooner or later he would tell him everything without wanting or meaning to do so, simply out of fear.  
And so he provoked him long enough, teased him, taunted him until he had just sewn his mouth shut in order to make him shut up, to keep this ´nasty little mouth of his´ shut forever. The pain had been almost unbearable but worth it an even till today the demon had not gotten behind the purpose of it. For him he had stolen the man´s most dangerous weapon but in reality it had all been his plan in order to uphold the secrets he was protecting, till is until this day. 

Secrets, no one knew he even kept secured in his think-pan, not to ever be shared, forever remaining as a secret. Some regarded the end of the world, just like a lot were secrets and facts about the beginning of every world. He could not be persuaded to share them, not by pain, not by pleasure, never.  
People might call him a liar or a coward but there was one thing he was not, two-timing. Sure he had a lot of facades that he carried on over the years but he would never betray someone, not when the person had earned his trust and respect and therefore he was never to share these secrets, not with a demon, not with a human, not with an angel, not even with god, his father and creator.

Later on it got unpredictable again, he did not know why but all of sudden he could not be sure anymore how the other would react, how he would hurt him, if he would hurt him at all-  
Because torture can not only be done with pain but with pleasure alike. Pleasure that is forced and although the mind might scream a clear ´no´, even if the mind said it was wrong and you did not like it- the body could still be clearly aroused and willing to go further, to do more than the mind might ever want to. Gentle rape could be a form of torture too, a form most do not accept as they do not see it as torture as the victim´s body had liked it after all. But the real torture was the mental aftermath, the thoughts, the guilt and he had been victim to this more than once over the last years.

No clouds were to be seen and the sun was burning hot down on the two of them, him and the one who had saved him from all of this. He did not dare to look at him even once, his eyes seemed to stare into nothing but air but in reality he was getting lost in those thoughts again, those dark thoughts no one should carry around with themselves.  
But the other noticed and his fingers found the other´s quickly intertwining them, brushing his thumb over the back of the smaller´s hand. He ignored the way he flinched at the touch, he knew it was not because of him.  
This seemed to shake him out of it and he blinked quickly, now looking at the other. The sun made his eyes light up, showing what a beautiful color they hold, like a glass of whiskey where the sun shine through.  
And then he smiled, a real smile he had not shown anyone in ages, a real smile that actually reached his eyes. Not as much as it used to but it was a start, something to work with.

“Thank you Sam.” he whispered, his voice rid of all cheerfulness it ever hold, low and .. broken but he spoke to the hunter non the less.  
A small smile was the answer and the human could only hold the angel´s hand tighter, afraid he could lose him again.  
“You´re welcome, Gabriel.”

They would have a lot work to do but they could do it eh was sure, he would get back to be himself and he knew that Sam would be there to help him.


	2. and here we go again or nothing has changed, has it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey- I am sorry this is sorta short and later than I intended to but I had a lot of stress and I am happy I finally got this typed out. There will be more, I promise.  
> Also warning: The next chapter will contain a bit of violence and dark thoughts, some mentioned self harm but no actual description of someone harming themself. Just wantede to inform you now, I will specially warn again with the next chapter though.  
> Stay safe.

Most days were bad and all of them knew even before they would enter the archangels room for the first time that morning. They usually went several times a day, every two to three hours to check on the broken being. Mostly it was Sam who volunteered to do this as he felt a strong connection to him, a strong urge to help him and make him better again- not even knowing if that was possible at all. But he had to try and believe, they all had to believe.

Even though believe had not brought them anywhere in their life before, this time it might would, even if this was an angel who could pray to god, but god would not listen and come to his aid, god never listened to none of them. Not his humans, not his other creations, not even his angels. And therefor praying would bring nothing, especially because Gabriel did not even seem to be in the condition of praying to anyone at all.   
This did not stop Sam from praying for the angel though, he did so every night, trying to reach anyone, anyone they had ever heard of, to get them to help him to make them help the archangel. But till now it was of no use. The trip outside yesterday had been an experiment and no one had know how it would end- if Gabriel would flip out- if he would get scared and lose control of his actions? If he would even realize what was going on or if he remained stuck inside his won head? If he even showed a reaction at all? What happened though was one of the most positive outcomes any of them could wish for and when they brought him back into his room he seemed better, a lot better actually and Sam had hope again, something he had almost lost in the past weeks. But now things looked different, there still was something left, a spark of the old Gabriel was still in the shell of the man he used to be, cross that out, there was still a spark of the angel left they had met all those years ago. 

The “trickster” they had encountered on one of their hunts, someone they thought they could take out and who was just another monster- the same one they met later again and Sam had to fight for Dean just because of the “trickster”. By now he did not hate him for it anymore, they had made up after all and now they had more important matters they needed to attend to than to bitch about things that happened years ago. And then, when they learned what and who he really was, how shocked they had been.. but Gabriel had always been powerful, protecting what he thought he had to protect and fighting for what he assumed was his, what he called his family. Yes, there was still a spark of that angel left and Sam was sure to bring it out again, desperate even.  
And since he had seen that part for a second again yesterday, at least a small little spark of it- it was even more unsettling as he felt a bad feeling spread through his very core as he walked towards Gabriel´s room, like something was very wrong- it hurt to even think that he was back into that shell and he really did hope that for once his feeling was betraying him. But no such luck for Sam Winchester, but what had he expected..?   
And when Sam pushed the door open he could see why he had had that bad, dooming feeling.

Gabriel was sitting on the edge of the bed in the small room they had given him. The room was pretty plain as the wanted to leave the decoration to him once he would be able to voice his wishes about that. It only held a wooden bed with brown covers and a small bedside table till now.  
He was only clad in one of Sam´s shirts and some of Dean´s pants as those were the clothes that fit him best (actually Dean´s shirts would have done it too but Sam thought that a big shirt would maybe make the archangel feel better, more secure- safe).   
After all they could not have left him in what they got him, those clothes were ruined and that for good measure and therefor there had been barely any discussion and they had simply gotten him those clothes so he would feel better. Gabriel had not showed any signs of objection and Dean´s pants were too long around the legs but they fit about fine around his hips and so they were the best choice while Sam´s pants would have been far too long. Of course his shirt was huge on the angel but Dean´s shirts were mostly grease strained even though of various washings and intensive tries to get those motor oil stains out, and they usually had a hole or two in them and therefor Sam´s shirts would be the better choice if they wanted the broken man to feel better and not like a secondhand shop.

But now he was just sitting there, his eyes fixed on the wall, his legs drawn to his chest, chin resting on his knees as he seemed to be in thoughts. But Sam could never be sure if he really was all wrapped up in his thoughts- or if the archangel was lost in himself, not even thinking anymore and barely existing. Although the first did not promise happy thoughts, more like gloomy and depressing ones- it was still the better option and he almost hoped that Gabriel was just in thoughts. That things had changed since yesterday and that their trip outside had done some good to his mental well being but Sam could only do so much but hope. Of course Gabriel did not need to eat or to drink but it was a nice routine you could get into your day if you did so (even Castiel had admitted to liking this routine even if he did not always join them, mostly on breakfast though if he did) and that was why Sam had brought a plate with a small sandwich and a glass of water with him. Sure the angel was graceless but not fully human, was he? They did not know and if he was, it was good that Sam manged to get some food and some water into him every now and then but even Castiel was not sure about that. When the seraph had been robbed of his grace he had turned human but he was not quiet sure if the same applied to an archangel robbed of said power. Maybe, maybe not. They really had no clue- actually they had never been more clueless than when it came to Gabriel and the situation they were in.

Gabriel did not react when Sam opened the door, he did not even blink or show any other signs of recognition, he just remained in the very same position he had been in since they had gotten back from their trip outside the evening before. And when Sam wet the plate with food down he still did not react at all, he simply could not. He could hear Sam, the tall Winchester was actually trying to talk to him but it seemed like the words could not reach him and he could not understand them properly the noise in his head was too loud...   
It took Sam about half an hour before he gave up for now and left the room again, closing the door behind him. Today was one of Gabriel´s very bad days- he could tell. Maybe he had more luck later...  
It took the archangel three hours to react, he had pulled himself out of thoughts enough to react now, thoughts he barely could remember now.. He turned his head to the door and then to the plate that was set on the bed side table.. oh, Sam had been here and left him something? How nice of him... he smiled at the gesture and then looked back at the wall, absent minded taking the glass and taking a few very small sips, setting it back down and then he lost himself in his thoughts again.   
Maybe the trip had changed something after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, please leave me a comment, kudos or anything really, it will make all the difference.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> come find me on Tumblr: gabrielsammysangel


End file.
